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Friday, August 29, 2008


Crap. I really want her to remain Governor.

She's the best. I don't blame McCain for picking her.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


The indicted Ted Stevens wins handily, the soon-to-be-indicted Don Young in a race too close to call

There was undoubtedly a sympathy vote for Uncle Ted. I'm wondering if Don Young is now wishing he hadn't spent millions to keep from getting indicted.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Coldfoot is not happy

To all the politicians and activists who called me yesterday while I was trying to sleep,

Ahem... I work nights! I sleep days! If someone in your dumbass campaign calls me with a recorded message reminding me to vote I will make it a point to not vote for you!

Got something like seven pre-recorded calls reminding me to vote yesterday. Fuck every one of you. I was trying to sleep.

When I cast a ballot I try to make an informed decision. Calling me with a pre-recorded message informs me that you are an inconsiderate dumbass and not worthy of my vote.

Since today is actually the day we vote I'll keep the phone off the hook. But next time I'm taking names, posting them and campaigning against your dumb ass.

You lose! Good day Sir.

Monday, August 25, 2008


Words of Wisdom

There's this old guy who is a regular customer. From the moment he gets into the cab until he gets out of the cab he is talking. Usually, he is talking about people who are ripping him off, or who are otherwise unjustly taking his money, but sometimes his conversations are engaging.

The other night I was giving him a ride as the sun was setting.

"Boy," he said, "that sure is beautiful. Sunsets like that make a guy wish he could paint. Those painters, though, they're all about half crazy... (rant) (rant)... My ex-wife could paint. She used to take me to art exhibitions, and you know me, I don't know shit from Shinola, but she used to take me. I always enjoyed myself. Mostly I just wandered around and looked at paintings of naked women."

But his all-time classic line came when we were driving by WalMart.

"I almost bought this land. Back then there was nothing here but pussy-willows and garbage... years of garbage. Yep, me and my brother were looking at this land back in the 50s. We could have bought it all for a couple hundred dollars. It's worth millions now. Should have bought it. You'll never get rich setting on your money. You need to invest a dollar to make a dollar. You can't just hang on to what you've got. A guy needs to invest. The only thing that will grow in your hand is your dick."

After giving it some thought, I realized that was actually some good advice.

I felt honor bound to share it with you.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


How to speak Cabdriver in Square-banks, Alaska

Places in Fairbanks, in no particular order

The large optical organ - The Big I (bar)

Dead Fox - Red Fox (bar)

Infections - Rejections - (and my personal favorite) Erections - Reflections (strip club)

Ho Boat - Show Butt - Showboat (strip club)

Port-a-Potty - Airport

Scare View Manor - Fairview Manor (low income apartment complex)

Taco Hell - Taco Bell

Blows - Lowes

Home Despot - Home Depot

Wally World - Mall Wart - WalMart

Bentley Small - Bentley Mall

North Weird Building - Northward Building

Golden Showers - Golden Towers (state subsidized housing)

Diddle Lipper - Little Diaper - Little Tripper - Little Dipper apartments

Pary's Java Hut - formerly known as Pary's Crackhouse until he met me on the street with a gun for saying "Pary's Crackhouse" on the radio

Prozak Pawn - Rozak Pawn

Crapper's Cavern - Trapper's Tavern

Wildlife Refuge - (I seem to be the only one who says, and my personal favorite:) Arctic Barf - Arctic Bar

Tama-crack - Tamarac Inn (as opposed to Tamarack St.) (Neither of which is mis-spelled)

Munster - Munson Hotel (a long-term hotel comprised primarily of Atco units)

Crack-o-vitch - Jackovitch apts

More BS - MBS complex on campus, (Moore-Bartlett-Skarland Hall)

The Stick - North Pole (town)

I know I am forgetting something. Additions? Greg? Chris? Dave? Anyone?

Saturday, August 16, 2008


Summer and Fall arrived at the same time

We've had a fairly cool summer in Fairbanks and in most of the rest of Alaska. Word is that Anchorage is on track to have its coolest summer ever. Fairbanks is having something like its sixth coolest summer ever.

Yesterday I was sitting on my porch enjoying the sun. For once the weather was warm, there wasn't a cloud in the sky....... and the leaves were falling from the trees in the gentle breeze.

Friday, August 15, 2008


Politically incorrect line of the night

I have a car that takes acres of rainforest and turns it into pure horsepower.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Sooooooo, as usual, the airport police were out harassing people far from the airport area.

They nailed some poor bastard who was in line at Taco Bell. A drunk lady who was walking home had the misfortune of passing the Airport police as they were writing the ticket. They detained her and wouldn't let her continue on foot, because she was obviously intoxicated. Out of the goodness of their heart they called her a taxi, which of course, they expected her to pay for.

I pulled up to give her a ride. She was about 1 block from home. The fare came to $1.70. When I got her home I said, "How 'bout $1? Fair enough?"

"Just a dollar?"

"Just a dollar. I take pity on anyone who has to deal with the airport police."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

She started rifling through her purse, skipping over the twenties, fifties and hundreds, looking for a single dollar bill.

"I have change."

"No. No. I have it right here."

She went through her purse again, only more methodically this time.

"I do have change."

"I've got it right here."

She went through every bill in her purse, again. They were all twenties, fifties and hundreds.

She spent three minutes looking for a single dollar bill.

"Don't worry about it. Free ride."

"No. No. No. I appreciate you picking me up. I want to pay."

Ooooo, I thought. Maybe I'll get a couple dollar tip for being a gentleman. Maybe she was even looking for a five dollar bill to hand me.

A couple minutes later she found a single dollar bill, handed it to me and got out.

Friday, August 08, 2008


Agricola arrived today!!!!!!!

Photo lifted from BGG and Henk Rolleman

Happy, happy, joy, joy!! Snoopy dance, Snoopy dance!!

What could be more fun than a game about peasant farmers in the 17th century?

I had a chance to play it last November, so I know it's not another Tempus.

But could it be another Caylus?

Time will tell.

And FYI: This may be the only copy in Alaska. So.... if you want to play you need to pretend to be my friend for a couple days.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


RANT: You gotta be kidding me

Thread on my favorite boardgame website:

Games for Adults with Intellectual Disabilities

Hi! My brother has an intellectual disability (ie, IQ


That is the entire post. Punctuation included.

Now, this guy raises an interesting question that I don't recall having ever been raised. My interest was piqued. However, the guy completely dropped the ball with his lack of pertinent information. With a little more information this thread could turn into an interesting discussion.

I struggled for a few minutes, wondering how to best phrase the question, "How retarded is he?" Alas, there is just no good way to phrase that question. I decided to take the humorous approach and responded with:

OK. Is he a democrat, or are his intellectual disabilities more profound?

Bam! Suspended from the site.

Someone has some very thin skin. That is just ridiculous.


Agricola is shipping.

Game day at my house this weekend, assuming my copy arrives by then?

For reference, Agricola is the most anticipated game to be released in several years. I've had the opportunity to play a German copy once. Indeed, it is a pretty good game.

Agricola is currently the second highest ranked boardgame. I doubt it is a just a flash-in-the-pan. I expect it to be in the top ten for many years, at a minimum. It could easily overtake Puerto Rico as the best game ever.


Sunday, August 03, 2008


I'm from New York. I'm intelligent. I read 3 books every week.

Me: So why are you going to a crack house?

Her: Because I'm lonely, and I'm going crazy in Fairbanks.

Saturday, August 02, 2008



Lowell Purcell
1943 - 2008

For several months I've been posting obituary notices for people whom I know. I've never made any comments. The notices are mainly for me, not anyone who may read my occasional thoughts.

I have to make an exception for Lowell. Lowell Purcell was a hell of a guy.

He will be remembered as a radio man and a play-by-play announcer for various sports teams in Fairbanks. He also served on the city council for many years. But that was all before my time. I only knew Lowell personally for the last few years of his life, and during that time he was in pretty poor health.

Despite his poor health, his failing voice and the fact he was in a wheelchair, Lowell was always upbeat and friendly. I believe Lowell was my only regular taxi passenger who gave me a Christmas present. He remembered a conversation we had had many months before and surprised me with a very appropriate gift.

There's so much more to say, but this is getting hard to write with tears welling in my eyes and snot building in my nose.

On behalf of the staff and management of &games, our prayers go out to Lowell, his widow and family.

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