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Monday, August 25, 2008


Words of Wisdom

There's this old guy who is a regular customer. From the moment he gets into the cab until he gets out of the cab he is talking. Usually, he is talking about people who are ripping him off, or who are otherwise unjustly taking his money, but sometimes his conversations are engaging.

The other night I was giving him a ride as the sun was setting.

"Boy," he said, "that sure is beautiful. Sunsets like that make a guy wish he could paint. Those painters, though, they're all about half crazy... (rant) (rant)... My ex-wife could paint. She used to take me to art exhibitions, and you know me, I don't know shit from Shinola, but she used to take me. I always enjoyed myself. Mostly I just wandered around and looked at paintings of naked women."

But his all-time classic line came when we were driving by WalMart.

"I almost bought this land. Back then there was nothing here but pussy-willows and garbage... years of garbage. Yep, me and my brother were looking at this land back in the 50s. We could have bought it all for a couple hundred dollars. It's worth millions now. Should have bought it. You'll never get rich setting on your money. You need to invest a dollar to make a dollar. You can't just hang on to what you've got. A guy needs to invest. The only thing that will grow in your hand is your dick."

After giving it some thought, I realized that was actually some good advice.

I felt honor bound to share it with you.

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