Tuesday, September 15, 2009
More drunk math*
* You won't even believe this story, even if I swear it is true. I swear it's true.
Drunk: How much to the Super 8?
Me: Oh... Like 9 bucks, give or take.
Drunk: It only cost me 6 bucks to get here. I got 6 bucks. You can get me back for six.
Me: Don't bullshit me. It'll cost what it costs, but I ain't doing it for six. You can wait for the next cab.
Drunk: OK. Just get me back to the Super 8.
Me: I need to see your money. It's too busy to do it for six. If that's all you got you can wait for the next cab.
Drunk: I got money. (He showed me a wad of bills.)
Time passes. We arrive at the Super 8.
Me: That'll be $8.50.
Drunk: It only cost me 9 to get there.
Me: Yeah. And it's only eight fifty to get back.
Drunk: Don't fuck around with me, man.
Me: What?
Drunk: I ain't paying more than nine. That's all it cost to get there.
Me: And I got you back for less than 9.
.
.
silence
.
.
Me: Come on man. Eight and a half.
Drunk: F. U.
.
.
Me with absolutely no idea what is going on: Look man. I'll do it for nine if that's all you got.
Drunk: F'in' right you'll do it for nine.
Me: It's only eight and a half.
Drunk: Here's ten, but I ain't never calling your company again.
Me: And what company would that be?
Drunk: He rattled off the phone number for the other big company in town.
I thought about correcting him... but he was out of the cab and off in a huff.
Drunk: How much to the Super 8?
Me: Oh... Like 9 bucks, give or take.
Drunk: It only cost me 6 bucks to get here. I got 6 bucks. You can get me back for six.
Me: Don't bullshit me. It'll cost what it costs, but I ain't doing it for six. You can wait for the next cab.
Drunk: OK. Just get me back to the Super 8.
Me: I need to see your money. It's too busy to do it for six. If that's all you got you can wait for the next cab.
Drunk: I got money. (He showed me a wad of bills.)
Time passes. We arrive at the Super 8.
Me: That'll be $8.50.
Drunk: It only cost me 9 to get there.
Me: Yeah. And it's only eight fifty to get back.
Drunk: Don't fuck around with me, man.
Me: What?
Drunk: I ain't paying more than nine. That's all it cost to get there.
Me: And I got you back for less than 9.
.
.
silence
.
.
Me: Come on man. Eight and a half.
Drunk: F. U.
.
.
Me with absolutely no idea what is going on: Look man. I'll do it for nine if that's all you got.
Drunk: F'in' right you'll do it for nine.
Me: It's only eight and a half.
Drunk: Here's ten, but I ain't never calling your company again.
Me: And what company would that be?
Drunk: He rattled off the phone number for the other big company in town.
I thought about correcting him... but he was out of the cab and off in a huff.