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Thursday, August 27, 2009


In which I ponder the female mind and have a brilliant idea

Middle of the night I got a call to pick up at a certain address. It was raining. About a half block from the address some drunk chicks flagged me down. They said they had called, they needed to get away from the house because some scary guy was harassing them.

Sounded reasonable so I picked them up.

They got in and started talking about this "creep" who was "stalking" them. They were obviously quite shaken up.

"Let's get out of here! That dude is just scary!"

"Yeah! Let's go!"

A half block later the dispatcher called. He said the party I was supposed to pick up watched me pick up someone else and drive away. This left me in a bit of a predicament because I was the only cab anywhere close to the area and people who call are supposed to have priority.

I quizzed the girls and it became clear that they had called a different company. They (understandably so) refused to get out and wait for their cab. I spun around to see if I could get the other party to share a cab with the girls.

Turns out the guy I'm supposed to pick up is the "creep".

After all the previous drama the girls didn't mind if he shared a cab. In fact, they were begging him to share a cab. The guy adamantly refused. He said something along the lines of, "I don't want anything to do with you dumb bitches."

Anyway... I arranged for the other company to pick up the other guy, and everyone left happy... except me.

These girls were stupid, AND obnoxious, AND loud.

After all the drama about getting away from the scary guy they were actually insulted that he refused to share a cab with them. And that wasn't the half of it. When they weren't talking about him they spent the whole ride bitching about their other friends.

I was tempted to drive off a bridge to put us all out of our misery.

When we got home they had me turn off the lights before we drove through the woods to the house so they could sneak in without their parents noticing.

That's when I had my brilliant idea.... I think I'll call it "blackmail". I didn't use it, although I was sorely tempted. I was happy to be rid of them, but I filed it away for future use. The next time I get kids sneaking home late at night I am going to charge them an extra $10 or else I'm going to lay on the horn before I leave.

And what part of the girls behavior did you find perplexing?

I could say something about the way a man's brain works . . . but I don't want to further confuse you.
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