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Monday, November 10, 2008


One lady. Two cab stories.

Second story first, because it is easier to tell.

She left a bag in the trunk.

She called the dispatcher numerous times in a short period of time to inquire if I had found a bag in the trunk. I said I would look as soon as I dropped off my passenger. She kept calling. I finally dropped off my passenger and looked in the trunk. I found a small, black bag that was easily missed in the dark and told the dispatcher.

She kept calling. The dispatcher told her yes, we had found the bag. He also told her that unless she wanted to pay cabfare she would have to wait until I was much closer to her part of town. She got pissy, refused to pay any fare and threatened to call the police. Apparently, it was a huge crisis that this particular bag got left in the cab. He hung up on her. She kept calling.

My next trip took me to her part of town. The dispatcher was fed up with her. He told me that I would call her directly to tell I was on the way to drop off her bag.

I called.

No answer. My call went to voice mail. I hung up.

I called again.

Same thing. No answer. Numerous rings then straight to voice mail.

Now, I am not inclined to A) beg a person to answer the phone who has threatened to call the police if I don't call and B) leave a voice mail for someone who won't answer the phone when they should be expecting a call.

This woman lived in a secure-access apartment building and if I couldn't get her to meet me downstairs I would have to set the bag outside. I was not about to just set this important bag that probably contained jewelry on the steps of a crazy woman's apartment and leave, not with her threatening to call the police.

I called again.

No answer.

One last try. I called and left a message, "Hey, ummm are you the lady who left a bag in a taxi? If so... I'm outside. If you aren't home I could probably drop it off on Wednesday..... Well..... Yeah. Probably on Wednesday at the earliest. If I can't make it on Wednesday I might be able to stop by on Friday.... Well, I don't know if I'll be in town on Friday. If I can't stop by on Wednesday I'll call and let you know. Don't call me, 'cause my batteries are about dead and I'm turning off my phone."

Ten seconds later she called me back, "I'll be right down!"

What kind of a woman threatens to call the police if you don't call, her whole world revolves around that call, and then won't answer the phone? I'll tell you...

...First part of the story.

Picked up this woman and her toddler at the mall. She had numerous bags and I was able to glean through later conversation that she had been shopping for the last eight hours.

Her one-sided conversation with her toddler and me went something like this:

You love your mommy, don't you? Yes, you do. You just want your mommy to be happy, don't you? Thank you for buying me that jewelry.

Can you believe my son told me to go ahead and buy my favorite perfume with his money? He is such a good kid.

You love your mommy, don't you?

He said he wanted me to be happy and gave me permission to buy jewelry with his money. The clerk at the jewelry store fell in love with him. She thought he was so cute. She said he was a good boy for wanting his mother to be happy.

She's right. You are such a good boy.

Blah blah blah.

I kept my mouth shut. At first I didn't know what to think, perhaps she was delusional after eight straight hours of shopping. But as the one-sided conversation progressed it seemed as though her child received a rather large sum of money, perhaps some sort of inheritance. For some reason the mother thought she needed permission to spend the money. Furthermore, in her mind the toddler was competent to grant that permission. I'm guessing the money was stipulated for the child's education, or some such good intention.

Poor kid. At least she didn't spend it on booze, although I am prepared to bet the jewelry ends up in a pawn shop within the next six months.

Keep the taxi stories coming. :)
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