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Monday, December 17, 2007


Tuck and roll. It only works in the movies, and if you aren't drunk.

Picked up at a downtown bar the other night.

As the guy was getting into my cab a woman came out of the bar loudly begging to share the cab. It was fairly clear that the woman had some mental problems, compounded by excessive alcohol consumption.

The guy said, "Uhhhh, sure. I guess. As long as it's all right with the driver."

I said, "Uhhhhh, sure. I guess. As long as it's all right with you."

So there we were, driving down Airport Way at 45 mph, the woman started mumbling that she wanted to get out, and that she should have called Smurf. (Smurf is the dispatcher at the other big cab company in town.)

I offered to drop her off at the 24 hour McDonalds in order to call and to wait for another cab. But nooooooooooo. She needed to get out. Right. Now.

She flung open the door and started to get out. We were still going 45 mph.

The other passenger made a grab for her. I started to slow down as best I could on icy streets with moderate traffic. We were both yelling at her to shut the door. All the commotion merely stiffened her resolve to exit the cab at that moment.

We were yelling at her to stay in the car, she was yelling at us to stop telling her what to do.

Luckily I was able to stop before she exited the vehicle. I came to a stop in the middle of the street, heart firmly lodged in my throat, and put the emergency flashers on. Fortunately the car behind us was a cop. I'd never seen this particular cop before, he looked like a kid. He was very professional and took the lady into protective custody. It was clear to everyone that she had some mental "issues" at that point.

We sat in the street for about 5 minutes while the cop sorted things out. The other passenger kept saying, "Sorry, man."

"Don't worry about it. This is all going into my blog."

"No man. Sitting here is costing you money."

"Don't worry about it. No one was hurt. This is simply blog material."

And so it is.

Keep taking notes. I love it.
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