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Sunday, June 03, 2007


CID - Creepy Irish Dude

Don't know if Akbushbaby from A Girl and Her Dogs will see this, but this story is for her. Here is my story about CID (Creepy Irish Dude).

Creepy Irish Dude (CID) is a jackass. I had given him a couple cab rides in the past and I knew this. But hey, I drive a cab at night so I meet quite a few drunk jerks. Besides, he only took very short trips, so I never had to deal with him for long.

Then one winter night at 3 a.m. with a temperature hovering around -50 degrees I ran across CID lying in the snow along the edge of the street. He was drunk as a pig. He had no hat, no gloves, and he had been lying there for a while. He was so cold and drunk he couldn't speak or move. I had to physically drag him into the cab. Once I had him in the car he was so cold that he couldn't wipe the snow from his hands, much less lift his hands to wipe the snow from his face.

I got the snow off his face and hands as best I could, so he would at least be dry. I offered to take him to the hospital, but he refused. I knew he didn't live far from where I found him, but I couldn't remember exactly where he lived, so I had to wait for him to warm up a little and tell me his address.

I had to wait several minutes before he could even talk. The first words out of his mouth when he finally warmed up enough were, "Are you a faggot?"

And that was the most polite thing he said to me that night.

As I was carrying him to his door he went on and on and on and on asking if I was going to do obscene things to him once he was inside. I made sure he got inside, and then I swore I would never give that jackass a ride again.

A couple years later I got a call to pick up at a bar in a hotel. When I pulled up I saw CID sitting outside with a bar employee hovering nearby. Turns out that the employee was tasked to wait with CID to ensure that he left the premises. The employee tried to get CID loaded into the cab, but I stopped him, "I don't give this jackass rides."

The employee said, "I understand completely."

Do you know how many times before or since I've seen a bar dedicate an employee to wait outside and ensure that a drunk gets into his cab and leaves? None.

This guy just endears himself to everyone he meets. Don't feel like he singled you out Akbushbaby, but if you do ever catch this jackass in a dark alley kick him in the balls for me. I'll do the same for you.

oh my gawd! I just got around to reading you story about CID. You know, at first I thought the ol' drunk was just a harmless, well, old drunk but man...what an ass. Alley, kick, balls...got it.
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